What Nobody Tells You About Toddler Lip and Tongue-Tie Surgeries

I was vaguely aware of tongue-ties. I knew they could interfere with breastfeeding, but I didn’t know what they looked like, how they were diagnosed, or that my boys had them. Lip ties were not even on my radar.

As an infant, Oak took 40 minutes to finish a bottle. He struggled stay latched onto a bottle nipple. He choked more than I would have liked. It still seems like a miracle that he fed well enough to be released from the NICU.

When I brought up his feeding and sleeping struggles to his pediatrician, she diagnosed him with GERD and prescribed medicine for him. But my mama intuition knew this wasn’t the problem. I only gave him a few doses before throwing it out. He wasn’t any better on the medicine and he wasn’t any worse without it.

The Easter Seals, who at this time were providing the boys with OT and Lily with speech therapy, suggested switching him from powder to liquid formula. This helped a bit and he stayed on it a while. It was not a holy grail.

As infants, neither baby could latch consistently for breastfeeding. I suppose because they were able to latch in the hospital the few times we tried, the lactation consultant thought everything was fine. Mostly though, I was pumping and delivering milk because I was sick with a cold and not allowed in the NICU for 10 days, which hindered our breastfeeding journey even more.

At home, they lost the latch quickly. Because they were unable to latch, I pumped at home for a few weeks. It took me 9 hours a day just to bottle feed both boys, and trying to fit pumping sessions in between or while bottle feeding became untenable. I simply ran out of energy.

As I continued to voice my concern with family and professionals about the feeding struggle nobody else could see, I kept being reassured they were fine.

Solids Made Everything Even Clearer

When the boys started solids, food fell out of their mouths constantly. Some made it in, but not enough. I had already been through this stage with Lily, so I knew what to expect. Yes, babies are messy and yes, they have to learn to eat and swallow solid food. But the boys simply were not improving much over time.

Plus with twins, you get the unique experience of watching two babies do the exact same thing side-by-side. Ash managed better than Oak, but neither was doing great.

Oak seemed to work harder. He took longer. More food fell out. I always thought he dropped about twice as much food as Ash. I watched him struggle and couldn’t find a single professional who could tell me why, let alone that they saw a problem.

I specifically mentioned my feeding concerns with the Easter Seals during their one year reevaluation assessment. Easter Seals more or less told me the boys didn’t have a diagnosable feeding issue.

I searched the internet. Nothing fit what I was seeing.

I kept telling my mother that something wasn’t right with them. My mother told me they’d get better dexterity and feeding would improve.

Still, my mama instinct knew something was really wrong.

I supplemented them with baby purees until they were nearly a year old because I was afraid they were not getting adequate nutrition on their own. Based on the amount of food not getting into their mouths, I was always concerned they were hungry.

Finally, Someone Saw What I Saw

Around 14 months of age, the boys had their first dental checkups. Their dentist referred us to a pediatric dentist who specialized in tongue ties.

The specialist immediately confirmed that both boys had tongue ties. Are you ready for the twist? Ash’s tongue tie was worse. He had just learned to compensate more effectively than Oak.

They also both had lip ties. Oak’s was so severe that when I delicately brushed his front teeth, the tie would bleed every time. It simply came down too far not to interfere with brushing.

Someone finally validated what I had been seeing for 14 months.

I was told both boys would need tongue-tie release surgery and lip-tie release surgery. The specialist told me the lip ties were less urgent and could wait but I felt like we might as well do it all at once instead of in parts.

Tongue and Lip-Tie Surgeries Were the Easy Part

The procedure was a few weeks later. One at a time, they received a numbing agent and the dentist used a laser to release both ties. I stood outside the room because I knew I’d faint if I watched.

I wasn’t brave enough to witness the procedures, but the second Oak cried, I sprinted in and hugged him to me. When he calmed down, I handed him to Grampy so Ash could go next.

The actual procedures were fast. The recovery was not.

The 4 Weeks Nobody Warns You About

After the surgery, I was given follow up instructions about how to run my fingers underneath their tongues and in their upper lips so the ties wouldn’t heal back together.

The doctor sent me a video of a very peaceful infant happily allowing these exercises. The baby opened his mouth like a little angel.

This was not my reality. My boys were older. They had teeth. And they knew what was coming.

After about a week, they really began protesting the exercises. I had to use a baby spoon handle in their mouths so they would bite it instead of my finger. The exercises had to be done 5–7 times a day, in the upper lip and under the tongue, and for each boy.

This went on for 4 weeks.

It was awful for all of us. I dreaded it. They dreaded it. We all cried.

This was not the peaceful recovery I had imagined. It was emotionally and physically difficult. Plus it was yet another chore layered on top of our already very full daily schedule.

The Emotions That Came Later

I was relieved to finally have the answer to the feeding problems. But I was also very angry.

I thought about the time I spent trying to breastfeed and pump. Every bottle that took too long. The 9 hours a day I spent feeding them during maternity leave.

What if I had known sooner?

What if someone had recognized it in the hospital?

What if someone had just believed me when I said the twins couldn’t feed right?

Our feeding journey could have been very different.

I was also filled with regret. I should have gone back to the lactation specialist for more help.

Looking Back on Our Experience

The process is so much more than the procedure. In our case, it was:

• wondering why they could latch in the hospital but not at home

• being the only person who could see the problem

• being made to feel like there is no problem

• comparing siblings and wondering whether you’re being unfair

• wondering why they choke on bottles

• trying different formulas

• wondering why they eat so slowly

• having a medical professional not pinpoint the diagnosis

• giving unneeded medicine

• having early intervention services tell you everything is fine

• watching food fall out of your baby’s mouth

• supplementing with baby purees long past their 1st birthday

• questioning every feeding decision you’ve made

• exercises you don’t want to do on 2 toddlers who don’t understand

The Change in My Boys

Almost immediately, almost miraculously, they began eating normally. They were able to keep food in their mouths. There was less food on the floor after mealtimes. There was less food on their clothing as well. I was very confident they could now eat until they were full. The purees were gradually finished off and never repurchased.

At my parents’ house for dinner, maybe a week after the procedure, we marveled about how much better they were eating. Almost an “I told you so” kind of moment. Once my mother saw them eating well, I think she realized how hindered they had been before.

The boys were not recommended for any sort of feeding therapy or any other follow up after the procedure. Their incisions healed up correctly and now you could never know about the ties.

If You Think Something Is Wrong

Research supports what many parents already know: parental concern regarding their children should not be dismissed. A 2026 study published in JAMA Network Open examined more than 2,300 children and found that parental worry was highly sensitive for identifying serious illness, recognizing up to 91% of children who met the study’s criteria for severe illness. The researchers did not suggest that parental concern replaces medical evaluation. Instead, they found that it should be treated as an important warning sign and considered alongside clinical assessment.

My boys were not experiencing a sudden medical emergency, but I had identified persistent feeding problems: slow bottles, difficulty latching, and difficulty eating solids. I didn’t have the right terminology. I didn’t have a diagnosis. But I knew their feeding did not look right.

It can be a lonely place, being the only person advocating for your child. It can feel like you’re being crazy. It can feel like giving up would be easier but you know you’re not ready to stop looking for answers.

Your mama intuition is one of the best tools you have available. Nobody believed me until finally someone did.

I hope you get answers sooner than I did.